February 25, 2009 - Hypothermia or me?

It's a sad state of affairs when your dream dating life is as bad, possibly even worse, than your dating life in reality. I'm not a terribly prolific dater, never have been, but on Monday night I had a dream where I had two dates. Got dumped in both of them. It's no wonder I don't date in real life...

The first dream started with me in the grocery/department store that was about a mile from my house growing up. I was frustrated when the dream started because the sales lady in the perfume department wouldn't wait on me, and I really wanted that bottle of Ralph Lauren Romance (oh the irony!). And when she wouldn't pay attention to me, I had to go to the back of the line which was populated solely by couples. I finally got so annoyed that I left, and as I left, all of the couples turned (almost in synchronisity) to watch me leave.

When I got outside, there was a guy there in a greyish fitted long sleeve t-shirt leaning up against the brick wall. The moment I saw him I realized that we were on a date, and that somehow, somewhere inside the store I'd wandered away from him, and we got separated. It was freezing outside, and I asked if he'd been waiting a while. He had. And he didn't look happy about it. We climbed up in his truck, which had very foggy windows, and he asked if he could just take Webster Street instead of Briggs to take me home, and I said yes, though thinking about it now, Webster was where Saunders is in reality. And that confuses me. Why would I move streets around? It doesn't really matter though because I moved on to the second dream from there, but I know that when the unknown guy dropped me off at home, he wasn't ever going to pick me up again.

Dream #2. In this dream I am quite certain that I was on a first date with someone I met online. And it was awkward. Awkward. When I entered into the dream I knew that nothing was going right. We didn't have anything to talk about, we weren't having fun, it was disaster. I knew there were other people in the house, but no one made an appearance until all of a sudden, my friend from high school, Laura, came skating (roller skating specifically) into the house in a french maid's uniform carrying a humongous tray of dirty dishes. Yet in the center of the tray was a pristine hot fudge sundae in one of those old-school, tall sundae bowls.

When Laura disappeared I just sank to the floor in defeat. And the floor, when I sank down to it, was slanted. Forty-five degrees slanted. I had to almost brace myself to sit on it.

The next thing I remember, the guy there with me was sitting down as well, and the floor had righted itself. Or maybe, like a teeter-totter, he'd just balanced it out. Either way we sat there for several minutes, just watching TV, not talking. As time wore on, we scooted back to lean against the back of the couch that was behind us, but clearly not facing the TV. More time passed, and as it did, we got closer and closer to each other. First it was shoulder to shoulder. Then I was kind of leaning against him. Finally he had his arm around me. And somewhere in the process, he lost his shirt and just had a wifebeater on.

After that things seemed to start being cozy. We were talking. We might even have been close to kissing. That's tough to call for some reason, which probably means we weren't, but it felt like we were heading somewhere. Then, he said he should be leaving. Out of nowhere, "Time to go!" I walked him to the door, and when I opened it, we were greeted with a raging snowstorm outside. Snow was covering everything, and I knew he didn't have a car because I'd picked him up from somewhere when he arrived. I asked where he was going to stay because I knew he couldn't get home yet that night, and he said "I'll find someplace." I offered to let him stay because it was awful out, and you know, I was starting to care about him, but he just shook his head and headed off into the snow in his wifebeater and light jacket. Hypothermia or me? And the hypothermia won. Fantastic.

Random thoughts:

1. Today I saw a crossdresser at the State Capitol. And that's a sentence you don't get to say everyday.

2. The Christmas cards I received this year are still hanging on the back of my front door. I just can't stand to throw them away.

3. For the first time EVER, the guy that I liked from the beginning won Top Chef! Awesome! Too bad he became a little bit of a man-whore along the way.

February 08, 2009 - I certainly didn't expect a Saturday service

My job is interesting. No day is ever the same, and sometimes you get to do really cool, fun things. Saturday, I got to go to a baby pageant!

I know what you're thinking, and I was thinking it, too. Toddlers and tiaras. But as it turns out, this baby pageant had nothing to do with over made up babies with fake teeth and big smiles. The pageant consisted of four little girls, the oldest one no more than two, and only one wearing an actual dress. And while the babies did get tiny trophies and savings bonds, the winner was chosen by how much money they'd raised for the church that was holding the pageant.

In the end, the baby pageant wasn't the most interesting part of the experience. It was actually a very small part of the program, which was dominated by scripture and song and prayer, and little speeches from myself about the MOD and another girl about the non-profit she works for. I'd had no clue what I was getting into going to the baby pageant in the first place, but I certainly didn't expect a Saturday service.

I have to add one more piece to the story. The baby pageant was held at an African-American church, and while I wasn't uncomfortable because I was the only white person in the church, I was slightly uncomfortable because of the service and its boisterous nature.

I'm Lutheran. When we sing, we use hymnals, not expecting everyone to know the words. When the children's choir performs, we don't clap (apparently Lutheran children don't need audible praise). And when the pastor sermonizes, we don't yell out "Amen!!" It was like being plunked down in the middle of Mars and trying to pretend that I wasn't a complete foreigner. The thing was, the longer I was there, the more comfortable I felt. More comfortable, in fact, than I feel in the church I've been a member of since I moved to Louisville. And I attribute that completely to the people that I was surrounded by.

I have never met such welcoming, gracious people! Every single person said hello to me, and there are people in my church that I've never even gotten a look from. During the prayer, we all held hands. The female pastor (another thing we Lutherans don't have) asked at one point for us to all give someone around us a hug. People came from the other side of the church to embrace me. My own father won't even pick up the phone to call me. (I don't call him either, but that's neither here nor there.) Even the oldest baby just walked right up to me when I was at the front of the church being thanked for coming and lifted her arms like she wanted to be held. I picked her up and held her, and then when I went to put her down to go back into the pew, she followed me and crawled up onto my lap. It was just such a cool feeling to know that not only was I being welcomed because they were being polite but because they were genuinely happy to know me and to have me there with them.

Random thoughts:

1. Those Hilshire Farm "Go Meat!" commercials are annoying. And I don't understand the concept of the airplane one. What appear to be complete strangers on a private jet? Eating lunch meat? Then conga lining it out of the plane? I hope no one got paid too much for that idea.

2. The idea of buying a house is freaking me out.

3. What do you do with a TV when it stops working? Do you just throw it away?